Today's post is all about how to combat something called 'Imposter Syndrome' and tips for boosting your confidence whilst you embark on the tough journey to the bar.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
If you haven't already heard of 'IS', it is an internal feeling that you do not belong where you are and/or you aren't good enough to be where you are. The Oxford Dictionary describes it as:
"the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills."
So, for example when I started the bar course I felt super excited and super ready for it, but then very quickly became overwhelmed by the amount and the high level of work which was expected of me. I sunk in to a feeling of 'I shouldn't be here', or 'I'm not cut out for this'. This may also emerge as a feeling of 'I don't deserve to be here'.
Essentially, it is you questioning yourself, your abilities and competencies. It is your brains way of panicking.
Who it affects?
The good thing to note is that it affects a huge amount of people, specifically in this profession. I have spoken to several esteemed barristers who have recalled feeling unworthy or out of their depth during their junior years. Even more comforting, is that I have spoken to barristers and judges who say that even now they still feel have the occasional feeling of 'I don't belong', 'I don't deserve this', or 'I'm a fraud'.
It is important to know that it is not a bad feeling to have. It by no means makes you less resilient, less hard working or less deserving in your career. It is an entirely natural feeling that comes when you work very hard to get somewhere and then feel overwhelmed by where you are.
Why it is good to acknowledge it?
I think it is really great if you can acknowledge your feelings and that you may be experiencing imposter syndrome, or just a general low in confidence. Something that I have learnt over the last year and definitely during the pandemic, is that being self-aware is a really difficulty but great skill to have.
If you are able to understand how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way, you will be much better placed to balance your emotions and strengthen your mental health. Acknowledging that you are feeling overwhelmed is great, because it creates the first stepping stone for your journey to feeling less overwhelmed, (this is beginning to sound like an AA speech, I do apologise).
Anyway, the main point is that it's okay to feel like this and it is even better to notice that this is how you're feeling.
Ways to boost your confidence and combat imposter syndrome...
This is the best bit, because when you know what it is and if it's something you're struggling with you can find ways to combat it, or at least keep it at bay.
1. Fake It Till You Make it
It might sound really naff, but I once spoke to a barrister who told me that whenever he felt nervous for a trial or didn't feel as though he was qualified to do the job he was doing, he would just play the part of a barrister and do it anyways. It goes without saying that you should not try to be someone that you're not, but what I mean by 'fake it' is to embody the confidence and feelings that you think a great barrister has, and very often you will end up taking on that confidence yourself and being able to succeed in the task you set out to do.
There is a lovely sense of theatricality to the bar. So, if you are in a situation where you don't feel confident or you are hearing the dreaded words, 'you can't do this', try the best you can to brush them off and just act like a barrister, even if you don't feel like one.
I found this really helpful during the bar course and advocacy competitions that I took part in. I often had that funny 5 minutes just before a class or competition when I thought of god I have no idea what i'm doing here. In those situations, I used to tell myself to pretend, pretend to be a barrister, pretend that you know what you're doing. And most of the time, I did know what I was doing, in fact I'd spent hours the night before preparing my arguments. So, I didn't need to act like a barrister or pretend like I knew what was going on. However, I found that it was a helpful thing to tell myself, just to keep those negative feelings and doubt away.
2. Superman Pose!
My second tip is one that my best friend taught me at university and was actually something I adopted before my dance and cheerleading competitions back in the days. This is something that looks ridiculous, sounds ridiculous but can give you a real boost in confidence and clear you head before something important.
The Superman/Superwoman pose involves standing up straight, feet a little wider than hip width apart, hands in fists on your hips and staring up and out into space for 10 seconds. i.e looking like superman.
This is a form of 'power posing' and is scientifically proven to boost confidence and lower stress levels. This practise of mimicking the body language of powerful people can help to make you feel more powerful yourself. Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy, does some great TED talks and blogs about the science of power posing and how doing some every day or every week can slowly improve your psychological health and how you perceive yourself. Her quick 10 tips for power posing can be found below:
3. Practice, Practice, Practice
It may be that you find yourself battling these thoughts every time you step into the mock court at your university, or every time you are asked to examine a witness. Whatever it is, a great way to combat those feelings is to practice the task that brings them up. You will then find that you slowly start improving and your confidence in your ability will improve as a result.
There is nothing better than utilising your peers and colleagues to practice your advocacy or general public speaking. I cannot thank my peers enough for giving me their time during my BPTC to listen to my mooting arguments before I went into the court, or for grilling me with their makeshift judicial intervention.
I will concede that at first, especially during the first few weeks of advocacy classes, I felt like a complete fraud. I had no idea what to do and was just saying and doing what I was told a barrister did. But, then something amazing happened, almost magical, but by no means over night...I started to adopt the mannerisms, phrases, and advocacy skills that I was practicing/pretending to have. I then becomes second nature!
It is kind of like osmosis (you know the scientific process by which a liquid moves from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration...). If you surround yourself with the idea of confidence, if you superman pose and if you put on a suit and just play the character, you will slowly find yourself morphing into that fantastic confident professional. So, make sure to trust the process and have some faith in your abilities. That moves me on nicely to the next tip...
4. Be Kind to Yourself
This is a phrase that I have adopted over the recent lockdown. It has been an incredibly difficult time for everyone, so if you don't feel on top of the world one day or you're dealing with a lull in confidence then don't beat yourself up about it. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge all of the great things that you are achieving, even if they are small.
Additionally, it might be the case that actually you are excelling academically, you're getting great feedback from your tutors and your grades are sky high...yet you still feel like you don't deserve it or that it's all a con. In that case, be kind to yourself. Take a step back and really look at where you are, what you have achieved to date and give yourself a pat on the back. You're clearly doing amazing and have no reasons to be doubting yourself.
Remember that progress is a marathon not a race and that even if you don't feel super confident now, it doesn't mean that you are not capable or worthy.
I hope this post was helpful and that some of you embarking on the bar course this year will remember to Power Pose before your advocacy sessions!
Thanks for reading and health and best wishes to you all,
Monica x